Study: Fox News causes cerebral hemorrhoids
NOTE: I know the University of Maryland study is now a week or so old. But this is my first diary -- and this item is a good example of the type of satire I hope to share with Kos readers. I also try...
View ArticleThe John Boehner Diet !!
In a world of red vs. blue –- only one man has the guts to go orange.And now that he’s about to become Speaker of the House, everybody’s dying to know the secret to John Boehner’s smoldering apricot...
View ArticleDear Sarah (satiric Palin advice column)
Premise:What if Rupert Murdoch hired Sarah Palin as an advice columnist for his newspaper empire? Here, Sarah does her best Dear Abby. * * *Dear Sarah, I campaigned hard to obtain a really important...
View ArticleGOP death squad eyes job-killing Obamacare
I believe I've figured out why the Republicans give their bill such a snarky title.An act to repeal:The Socialist, Neo-Nazi, Job-Killing, Elderly-Smothering, Anti-American, Unconstitutional,...
View ArticleOn Fox News and Palin's metaphorical trigger finger
Sarah Palin's metaphorical trigger finger reportedly has tested negative for gunshot residue from the Arizona massacre.Forensic analysis will reveal that the shooting of U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords...
View ArticleD.C. gone mad: 'The Shining' city upon a hill
Turns out a mental condition is to blame for the Arizona tragedy. Not only that, the shooter is mentally ill, too.Yes, I'm saying our entire political-media industrial complex is mentally deranged....
View ArticleOn day of healing, president aims high, Palin reloads
When President Obama announced last night in Arizona that "Gabby opened her eyes for the first time," tears began to stream from mine.Then I wished for Sarah Palin to open her eyes, and her heart,...
View ArticlePalin on Tucson trauma: Talk to the Hannity
Still smarting from her non-role in the Arizona shooting, Sarah Palin last night reminded millions of Fox viewers that the right of free speech does not come with a responsibility of coherence.In a...
View ArticleLibyan protesters demand ouster of Gadhafi, Khadafi, Qadhafi and Khaddaffi
Libyan crazy man Moammar Gadhafi is reportedly “going ballistic” as protesters call for an end to his four-decade reign.Col. Qaddafi, whose name is routinely spelled Gaddafi, Kadhafi, Qadhaffi,...
View ArticleRomney denies robot allegations
Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is denying allegations that he is a robotic humanoid with Teflon hair made in China by the Koch brothers.Unlike traditional human politicians, the Romney is...
View ArticleMichele Bachmann’s Guide to the American Revolution
1742: The Shot Heard Round the World is fired by Betsy Ross at Franklin Roosevelt's tavern in Lexington, New Hampshire.1776: The Boston Tea Party in tiny Dixville Notch, Vermont, inspires patriots in...
View ArticleDonald Trump claims he has proof President Obama is black
PORTSMOUTH, N.H -- Republican hairball Donald Trump today bragged about pressuring President Obama to release his long-form birth certificate, saying the debate can now shift to more important matters...
View ArticleMock obit: Osama bin Laden, evildoer, dies suddenly at 54
Osama bin Laden -- long considered the world's biggest asshole -- died suddenly today.He was 54.The world's second-biggest asshole, Donald Trump, said he was honored to assume the title, as the...
View ArticleNewt announces presidential slither
One of the slimiest politicians in U.S. history announced a presidential bid today, prompting involuntary gag reflexes throughout the human and animal communities.Newt Gingrich, noted right-wing...
View ArticleBush portrait unveiling accomplished
George W. Bush popped by the White House yesterday for old time's sake -- dishing out his signature knee-slappers at the unveiling of his official portrait.And while it was vaguely inspiring to...
View ArticleRep. Paul Ryan's Medicare coupons (sneak peek)
Here's an exclusive sneak peek at Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan's Medicare voucher coupons:TRIPLE SAVINGS on your next DOUBLE BYPASSFREE chili dog and large fries with any open-heart...
View ArticleIs there a gun policy in heaven?
So I guess that whole Mayan calendar end of the world thing kind of fell flat.Too bad, because I've always been quite curious about the Great Beyond.I picture a place where everyone would "do unto...
View ArticleIndependence Day: What would the Founding Fathers say?
The Fourth of July isn't till Thursday, but there sure were some fireworks last week illuminating vital American issues of immigration, the right to vote and the ability to pursue happiness by marrying...
View ArticleQuestions about firearms? Ask Professor Gunn
Editor's note: This column (published Sunday in Portsmouth, N.H.) has provoked strong negative reaction, much of it from readers calling me a "racist,""moron" and "asshole."Due to some recent confusion...
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Haunted House of Representatives
It is fiendish, blood-curdling and utterly macabre. It’s ghoulish, creepy and deeply disturbing.The most horrifying haunted house America has ever seen is located smack dab in the middle of...
View ArticleVoice of Dr. King continues to sing ... 'Let freedom ring'
Our topic today is dreams. (Also nightmares, but more on that in a minute.)Tomorrow is Martin Luther King Jr. Day across America and here in New Hampshire, which, for some reason, was the last state in...
View ArticleUnauthorized Vladimir Putin bio
Boohoo. Crimea River.That’s what Vladimir Putin says when the rest of the world whines about what a bad man he is for seizing part of a neighboring nation.Now basking — often topless — in the glare of...
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Brown-bagging it in New Hampshire
PORTSMOUTH, N.H. — Some say Scott Brown’s bid to weasel his way back into the Senate by moving north from Massachusetts is doomed because Granite State voters will see him as a “carpetbagger.”But...
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Questions about capital punishment? Ask Professor Gallows
To help shed light on Thursday’s 12-12 state Senate vote that keeps capital punishment on the books in New Hampshire, today we check in with noted death penalty advice columnist Professor Gallows, who...
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Eagle: Right wing & left wing must work together for US to soar
This image came to mind, so I tried to bring it to life in Photoshop. Now I'm trying to get some eyeballs on it because I believe the message (though arguably naive given America's current state of...
View ArticleScott Brown is a jackass 99% of the time
PORTSMOUTH, N.H – Scott Brown stopped by my town Friday night and reportedly told the awesome Leftist Marching Band, “you suck.”This confirms what anyone who doesn’t want a shallow, Koch Brother-funded...
View ArticleSweeping GOP bill declares Obama an ‘enemy combatant’
By John BrenemanWASHINGTON, D.C. – Frustrated by years of gridlock and now in control of the Senate, congressional Republicans have introduced sweeping new legislation to adopt a $1 per hour minimum...
View ArticleBill filed to name Rep. Groen N.H.’s official state moron
By John Breneman Polls in the Granite State show overwhelming support for new legislation naming Rep. Warren Groen New Hampshire’s official state moron.It was during recent debate on a bill drafted by...
View ArticleTrump triples down on comments about shooting people
Expanding upon his recent observation that “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters,” likely GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump added today that...
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Donald J. Trump: 'I Have a Tweet'
Considering Donald Trump’s pathetic “All talk, no action” tweets about civil rights hero Rep. John Lewis — who was severely beaten by police in Selma, Alabama, in 1965 while protesting for the right to...
View ArticleAmerica Inaugurates First Fake President: @RealDonaldTrump
Following a historic mudslide victory that promises to pave the way for future con men, pathological liars and alleged sexual predators to ascend to the most powerful office on Planet Earth, America...
View ArticlePro-Trump stooge video phone smackdown
A pro-Trump stooge smacked my iPhone out of my hand during a video of him shouting about demonstrators being “sore losers” and “cry babies” at a spirited and uplifting post-Inauguration Day march in...
View ArticleTop 19 Ways the Trump Presidency Might End
Trump and Bannon rolling down a California freeway in a white Ford Bronco pursued by a convoy of police cars.Poisoned by a Russian spy who slips radioactive plutonium into the most beautiful piece of...
View ArticleAt U.N., President Trump vows to “totally destroy” North America
Speaking in front of the United Nations on Tuesday, U.S. President Donald Trump doubled down on his vow to “totally destroy” North America.His administration staffed with military generals and his...
View ArticleFacebook rejected my shocking political 'ad' !!
I “like” Facebook when I do a nice post and dozens of people react and engage with it — like the fun Two Lobsters post I did on Sunday. However, Facebook does not “like” me. I don’t mean just the part...
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