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Study: Fox News causes cerebral hemorrhoids

NOTE: I know the University of Maryland study is now a week or so old. But this is my first diary -- and this item is a good example of the type of satire I hope to share with Kos readers. I also try...

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The John Boehner Diet !!

In a world of red vs. blue –- only one man has the guts to go orange.And now that he’s about to become Speaker of the House, everybody’s dying to know the secret to John Boehner’s smoldering apricot...

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Dear Sarah (satiric Palin advice column)

Premise:What if Rupert Murdoch hired Sarah Palin as an advice columnist for his newspaper empire? Here, Sarah does her best Dear Abby. * * *Dear Sarah, I campaigned hard to obtain a really important...

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GOP death squad eyes job-killing Obamacare

I believe I've figured out why the Republicans give their bill such a snarky title.An act to repeal:The Socialist, Neo-Nazi, Job-Killing, Elderly-Smothering, Anti-American, Unconstitutional,...

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On Fox News and Palin's metaphorical trigger finger

Sarah Palin's metaphorical trigger finger reportedly has tested negative for gunshot residue from the Arizona massacre.Forensic analysis will reveal that the shooting of U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords...

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D.C. gone mad: 'The Shining' city upon a hill

Turns out a mental condition is to blame for the Arizona tragedy. Not only that, the shooter is mentally ill, too.Yes, I'm saying our entire political-media industrial complex is mentally deranged....

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On day of healing, president aims high, Palin reloads

When President Obama announced last night in Arizona that "Gabby opened her eyes for the first time," tears began to stream from mine.Then I wished for Sarah Palin to open her eyes, and her heart,...

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Palin on Tucson trauma: Talk to the Hannity

Still smarting from her non-role in the Arizona shooting, Sarah Palin last night reminded millions of Fox viewers that the right of free speech does not come with a responsibility of coherence.In a...

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Libyan protesters demand ouster of Gadhafi, Khadafi, Qadhafi and Khaddaffi

Libyan crazy man Moammar Gadhafi is reportedly “going ballistic” as protesters call for an end to his four-decade reign.Col. Qaddafi, whose name is routinely spelled Gaddafi, Kadhafi, Qadhaffi,...

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Romney denies robot allegations

Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is denying allegations that he is a robotic humanoid with Teflon hair made in China by the Koch brothers.Unlike traditional human politicians, the Romney is...

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Michele Bachmann’s Guide to the American Revolution

1742: The Shot Heard Round the World is fired by Betsy Ross at Franklin Roosevelt's tavern in Lexington, New Hampshire.1776: The Boston Tea Party in tiny Dixville Notch, Vermont, inspires patriots in...

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Donald Trump claims he has proof President Obama is black

PORTSMOUTH, N.H -- Republican hairball Donald Trump today bragged about pressuring President Obama to release his long-form birth certificate, saying the debate can now shift to more important matters...

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Mock obit: Osama bin Laden, evildoer, dies suddenly at 54

Osama bin Laden -- long considered the world's biggest asshole -- died suddenly today.He was 54.The world's second-biggest asshole, Donald Trump, said he was honored to assume the title, as the...

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Newt announces presidential slither

One of the slimiest politicians in U.S. history announced a presidential bid today, prompting involuntary gag reflexes throughout the human and animal communities.Newt Gingrich, noted right-wing...

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Bush portrait unveiling accomplished

George W. Bush popped by the White House yesterday for old time's sake -- dishing out his signature knee-slappers at the unveiling of his official portrait.And while it was vaguely inspiring to...

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Rep. Paul Ryan's Medicare coupons (sneak peek)

Here's an exclusive sneak peek at Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan's Medicare voucher coupons:TRIPLE SAVINGS on your next DOUBLE BYPASSFREE chili dog and large fries with any open-heart...

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Is there a gun policy in heaven?

So I guess that whole Mayan calendar end of the world thing kind of fell flat.Too bad, because I've always been quite curious about the Great Beyond.I picture a place where everyone would "do unto...

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Independence Day: What would the Founding Fathers say?

The Fourth of July isn't till Thursday, but there sure were some fireworks last week illuminating vital American issues of immigration, the right to vote and the ability to pursue happiness by marrying...

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Questions about firearms? Ask Professor Gunn

Editor's note: This column (published Sunday in Portsmouth, N.H.) has provoked strong negative reaction, much of it from readers calling me a "racist,""moron" and "asshole."Due to some recent confusion...

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Haunted House of Representatives

It is fiendish, blood-curdling and utterly macabre. It’s ghoulish, creepy and deeply disturbing.The most horrifying haunted house America has ever seen is located smack dab in the middle of...

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